


Lessons in Self Control (or lack thereof)

by Mrdogster



Series: And We All Keep Moving [1]
Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: M/M, and i ain't fuckin with episode 6 bc why would i want to suffer like that, anyway adil and toby are cute fucks that deserve happiness, i had to get it out ya feel my dudes, im garbage and this is garbage but dammit, yeah so whatever take this i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 20:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9624200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrdogster/pseuds/Mrdogster
Summary: There was something about him, a kind of beauty and mystery that hid underneath his brooding exterior that left Adil wanting to figure him out, piece by piece.Adil was the bartender, it was his job to know his customers. Unfortunately he wants to know one of them a little more than is strictly professional.





	

**Author's Note:**

> when there's no fanfic for the halcyon and also you're sick and have nothing to do lol. this was supposed to be longer #yikes lmao. anyway, i tried my best and i hope you guys enjoy it!

Adil knew this wasn’t meant to last. It was risky. It was inappropriate. It was doomed from the start. Adil knew this, had accepted this, but was he going to let it stop him? Absolutely not.

He’d known he’d liked Toby from the first time he’d met him. It was shortly after he’d started working there. Toby had returned briefly from school and didn’t pay much mind to the new bartender. He had taken his drink and left to sit down and relax, enjoy the music. Adil was just a passing face, but Toby was radiant. There was something about him, a kind of beauty and mystery that hid underneath his brooding exterior that left Adil wanting to figure him out, piece by piece. 

He didn’t do anything of course. Adil had always prided himself on his self control, and it certainly helped when he was working. There was a great deal of assessing the situation in bartending: you needed to know when to speak and when to keep your mouth shut. You couldn’t just go about doing and saying whatever you pleased. It was a good way to find yourself out of a job. So Adil was silent. He served Toby with a friendly smile and nothing more. That was, until the school year had ended, and Toby was coming home more regularly. 

It wasn’t unusual to see one of the Hamiltons in the staff areas, in fact it happened quite regularly. Lord Hamilton brought people in and out through the back, Freddie and Toby left that way to smoke, even Lady Hamilton had found herself down there for one reason or another more times than she’d cared to. So seeing Toby wandering about wasn’t altogether strange, and Adil intended to ignore it. 

He’d been fetching something from the back when Toby approached him. He looked tired, the kind of tired that came from studying as a researcher at Oxford. The kind of tired that came from stress about nearly everything. He was too young to be that stressed. He didn’t deserve it.

He’d come up to Adil not quite sheepishly, but certainly not confidently. “Joshi, is it? Would you mind fixing me something back here? Something strong?” Adil was… taken aback.

“Mr. Hamilton if you would like to take a seat at the bar-” He tried

“My father’s out there,” Toby said the smallest hint of desperation peaking into his voice. There was a finality to it, like he had said all that needed to be said. Adil nodded.

“Of course.” He made the drink in silence, not trusting himself to speak and not really wanting to anyway. Toby took it with a thankful nod and was off down the hall. Adil decided then that being alone with Toby Hamilton was infinitely worse than being at the bar with him.

Adil liked getting to know the people who sat at his bar. Some people do not want to be known, and that was fine. Toby was impossible to know properly, and yet one of the most open books there. He wore his emotions very plainly on his face. Granted those emotions mostly consisted of annoyance, bitterness, and exhaustion, but they were clear nevertheless. He didn’t talk much when sober, but with a little bit of alcohol he would loosen up and talk, about nothing and everything. About things that were irrelevant and things that only seemed irrelevant until you applied them to Toby. He didn’t have much of a filter then, especially after his father's death, and generally he didn’t care. This was how Adil and Toby grew closer, to both Adil’s discomfort and pleasure.

Toby was often very oblivious to things that developed around him. Adil and him were nearly friends and yet, it only became apparent him when Adil had sent up the coffee. And honestly, Adil understood. They were people from very different worlds and their relationship only existed at the bar. There was someone who talked and someone who listened and that’s all they were. When Toby left all Adil could do was scold himself about acting too impulsively. He was better than that. He would have to be better than that. 

Seeing Toby in the staff corridor was only strange because of his hurried look, his desperation to hide. Adil wasn’t against letting Toby hide next to him, but he was at least a little opposed to how close they were, how he could smell Toby’s cologne and how warm his hand was. He knew he had self control, it was an integral part of who he was but Toby was _here _and so close and smiling so wide-__

__When Toby pulled away from the kiss Adil was terrified. The look of shock, of panic, of fear passed so quickly over Toby’s face that it was almost impossible to distinguish them from each other. That was, unless you happened to spend a considerable amount of time looking at Toby’s face._ _

__He was gone before Adil could even say sorry. He hoped for the best: that he would only get fired and not arrested, or worse, deported. He resolved to try to confront the issue head on the next morning, as daunting as it seemed._ _

__The morning was… bright. He was fixing Toby’s tie, this time less scared of being close, less scared of a lot of things. Toby's speech had settled something in him, and while he tried not to let the spark of hope grow too much, he could feel it burning in his chest. They were in each other’s space again, only this time Toby initiated the kiss. It was sweeter now, softer. One kiss lead to two and then three, Toby’s hands on him again, warm, inviting. It was better than heaven, better than anything. It was pure bliss._ _

__When they pulled apart again, finally, catching their breath, foreheads together, Adil could’ve sworn he’d heard a small breathy laugh come from across from him. It was so peaceful, them together like that. It was something he never wanted to give up. He tilted up head up to look at Toby. Toby whose name sounded sweeter on his lips than it had ever in his head. Toby who was anxious and bitter. Toby who smiled brighter than the sun with lips that would forever lurk at the edge of Adil’s thoughts. Toby looked back at him, his happiness was splayed so plainly across his face. It could make even the gloomiest day sunny._ _

__“Well I better, um, go to work,” Toby said, becoming more serious. His hands left Adil’s neck and traveled down to Adil’s hands, giving them a quick squeeze. Adil cleared his throat and nodded a bit solemnly, face down turned._ _

__“Yes, of course.” One hand was back on his neck again, turning his head back towards Toby. Toby flashed a smile at him._ _

__“Until later then.”_ _

__“Until later.” One last peck on the lips and then they were separate from each other entirely. Adil was out the door with a small grin on his face, knowing that the day would certainly drag on from there but not really caring too much. He was looking forward, to later._ _

__So maybe it was doomed and risky and terribly wrong but frankly Adil couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was too perfect to give up, especially in their little war zone. It was the only comfort he needed._ _

**Author's Note:**

> hey friends, if you liked this please leave some comments and kudos please, they are my life-blood. also i know this was garbage but what would y'all think of this from toby's perspective? or something else pertaining to episode 6?? idk man i just have ideas and i want to know what y'all think. my halcyon side blog is fuckin-yikes-man.tumblr.com if anyone wants it. theres not much on it bc its new but yeah there you go. okay, love you, bye <3


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